A total failure was
declared at eleven years old,
No return ever to the
bosom of trusted friends.
Such a wilful act certain
to cause embarrassment,
The family name tarnished
by this disappointment.
Father declared that it
was so that Saturday morning,
A thin brown envelope delivered
those solemn facts.
Unqualified to proceed to roads
all paved with gold,
Wednesday’s child was born
into this real woefulness.
Condemned and consigned
into a castaway position,
Unloved and unwanted after
a closely examined truth.
Clammed silences
perpetuated secondary experiences,
Unforgiving challenges
layered in turmoil deep inside.
Teenage years absorbed ridicule
and daily chastisements,
Damnation devoured
self-belief with every sphere of life.
Sanity spoke in night time
whispers offering many escapes,
Self-sufficiency and
determination buoyed choices in time.
Personal success relieved and
rewarded bravery in oneself,
A stronger voice evolved
expressing its desire to be heard.
Verbal cruelty demanded a
fatherly respect in those days,
Past years have revealed an
identity of absolute fulfilment.
©Copyright Eileen T O’Neill 19/11/2014
Poetry Jam Prompt: ‘Identity.’…
Eileen, it sounds as if life has presented you with some challenges, especially in your younger years. And teen-age years are hard enough without being subject to ridicule. It it good to hear that you have overcome those challenges and developed a strong voice. We can definitely read this in your poetry! Thanks for being so open in your writing, Eileen.
ReplyDeleteWhat a very sad tale. Parental rejection and cruelty are very powerful in forming a person. I do hope this is not your personal story.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that stronger voice surfaced...its hard when you are deemed a failure...I met a guy a few months ago and we got to talking and he was surely a SPED kid but never identified so he felt he was just dumb...come to find out he had a disability, but no one ever knew...so hard too when those we should trust fill us with self doubt...
ReplyDeleteDeeming a child a failure sounds like a very harsh judgement. I cannot imagine that nowadays such news would be delivered through the mail. So glad they were proven wrong.
ReplyDeleteFulfillment after a not-so-happy past experience is great.
ReplyDeleteHope we all are contented and are happy being ourselves.
Happy ending :)
all's well that ends well...this is my philosophy of life...what a reward it is to develop a stronger voice from that situation and I'm sure most success story has a beginning like yours...a bold write Eileen :)
ReplyDeletePowerful testimony in your words and such wonderful structure in your poem. This is a wonderfully crafted poem.
ReplyDeleteEileen, it always amazes me how we manage to survive such childhoods and in fact transcend the abuses heaped on us. I have shared a similarly painful history - I love your use of the word "bravery" for that is what it took or us to find our own worth.
ReplyDeletewell written
ReplyDeleteIdentity
Eileen, it sounds like you're not merely a survivor, but you have found a wonderful life to fully live. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHow deeply we can injure our children at their tenderest, Eileen. There is nothing worse than saying to a child: "You will never amount to anything, you are a failure..." simply because of a bad report card or being unable to do the calculus... Your poem captures that hurt and the feeling of rejection. Very sad poem to begin with, and yet there is affirmation and rebirth of oneself towards the end.
ReplyDelete