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Born in Belfast, Northern Ireland, now living in Cheshire, England. I started writing poetry eight years ago, as a hobby. I have enjoyed that new venture very much. My preferences are for long and micro-form poetry styles. A first book of poetry ~ Reason Without Rhyme, was published in December 2013. A second book ~ Fifty Seven Pebbles, was published in September 2015...I am presently compiling the content for my third book. Thank you for visiting my Blog which is regularly updated. COPYRIGHT: The entire copyright and content of this Blog belongs to the author Eileen T O'Neill. Nothing should be copied, reproduced or hosted as per RSS feed by any other party. {This particularly applies to the USA company Feedspot.com} Header Photograph: Ballycastle Beach, County Antrim, Northern Ireland...

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

A Father's Resentment....



I once had a father, but in his surname only,
He had a daughter, whom he truly despised.
He chastised my eleven-year old exam failure,
With his angry words he ostracized my world.
Thereafter I lived in fear of daily admonishments,
Not always spoken, but glanced in resentment.
I can still feel that hatred for me, at low times,
Eyes pierced my presence in a loathsome way.
He destroyed my childhood with his cold manner,
Not one single photographic memory together.
Holidays and hobbies were for everyone else,
Not a single day spent in a happy family grouping.
I can still see your fingers tapping a cigarette box,
You were a master of armchair politics and rights.
Strangers knew a different you, with your kindness,
It hurt all the more to know you mellowed outside.
Without your earthly being, I have now flourished,
Restoration of self-belief enabled self- fulfilment.
There is sadness and a vacuum in being unloved,
But a daughter’s courage writes these words today.

©Copyright Eileen T O’Neill 17/06/2015
Poets United Mid-Week Motif: Fathers….

20 comments:

  1. What a courageous poem this is indeed, Eileen. And, yes, despite of your childhood unhappiness with this father (in surname only) you HAVE flourished. But I am sure that you still bear the marks of his 'tap, tap, tapping.'

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  2. The poem brought tears to my eyes. I can feel your emotions running through these lines.. agreed with Mary.. you have outdone yourself and have flourished beyond words. Wish you loads of happiness in life.

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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  3. Oh. Ouch. This story had to be told with all the courage it took to voice it. I'm grateful that you gave it a positive ending, but feel the power in each image: how angry words can ostracize and plant doubt in an entire world, how piercing eyes and cold manner are the photographs in memory, the tapping, cigarette box, armchair politics, and another mask entirely for the outside world. Amazing portrait! This is one of your most powerful poems. It also explains to me the infinite power of loving you often portray.

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  4. that is a very hard childhood Eileen and it's no easy task to restore that self-belief...you have really done a splendid job... this poem is as courageous as inspiring...

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  5. Goodness, this is heart-breaking and important to voice. It's truly a beautiful and emotive poem. ♥

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  6. This is so painful but I'm glad you have learned to see this with a new perspective. Powerful poem.

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  7. "A daughter's courage writes these words today." Bless you, Eileen. Sometimes it must be harder to have an unloving father than no father at all. His lack and his loss. He was able to do no better, likely due to his own childhood. The wonderful thing is that you found a good man and created a different loving family for yourself. Triumph indeed.

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  8. Powerfully written and through a veil of pain, courageously done, my heart goes out to you.

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  9. I'm so sorry. That is a deep hurt. You have expressed it well without bitterness, a witness to "But a daughter’s courage writes these words today" and flourishes.

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  10. This poem is a tribute to your growth and loving perspective. God bless you for writing these words today - it will reach out to those who don't yet know how to frame their similar experience X

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  11. This is a place of sadness and courage. Often, I think that the most courageous people are the ones whose scars run deep

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  12. It must have been a big let-down. It really hurt for a daughter is more aligned naturally to a Dad. But on the good side it knocked wonders to oneself to overcome and be better!

    Hank

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  13. It is very hard for those with loving parents to understand how a parent should not embrace his own child. How important it is for you to show that despite this hurtful, humiliating past you have been able to put that behind and become yourself.

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  14. Both the opening line and end line made my heart leap..of course experiences differ but i felt this..truly...i admire your courage..your writing.. - you

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  15. I agree with Old Egg, I really don't understand how this is considered parenting. Good for you to express the pain you felt.

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  16. First, thank you for your honesty. Dealing with the truth, and admitting what happened, is a big step in recovery, Eileen..
    I don't understand how parents can be so irresponsible, inadequate and abusive. I am glad you wrote this piece.... hugzz

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  17. I love the honesty, restraint and courage in this writing.

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  18. We share a great deal, my friend.

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  19. There is pain but also catharsis in this poem, Eileen. But beyond that, there is a great big "why?" - The horrific way that a father can treat his children is a great puzzle, especially as you write he was a different person with other people. I am glad you have overcome the hurt and reconstructed your life, despite the trauma...

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  20. Missing my dad whom I lost 10 years back !

    Awesome

    Very nice post .

    Do visit my blog
    http://www.shilpachandrasekheran.blogspot.ae/?m=1

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I appreciate visits to this Blog and any comments left. I shall always endeavour to reciprocate. Thank you, Eileen